Poetry is nearer to vital truth than history ~ Plato

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Unintended Meglomania

I am an army of one
doomed to demise at my own hands
as I resist the temptation
to rally unloyal troops
~defeat…better than giving them the opportunity to say no.

They pretend to care
reeling me in
hook, line, sinker
no better cliché
~describing the soulless I’ve been surrounded by

Offers of help
I turn down
and can see the relief in their eyes
but when I find the nerve to ask
~always other things to do.

This will break me.
This will hurt.
And I’ve not the energy left
To do more than cry.

Yet, within me exists the illusion
I can do this.

Brian Miller is rocking the mic for OpenLinkNight at dVersePoets. Would love to see you there!

43 comments:

Brian Miller said...

i at times fall prey to my own best intentions...thinking that i can handle it, taking on more and more...the army of one...we were not meant to live like that...and it wears you down until what you have left is next to nothing...been there...and your words took me there again...

Pat Hatt said...

Yes so true, sometimes we just take on too much, but then sometimes it can help as well, making me buckle down and start swipping stuff of the list.

The Silver Fox said...

Yeah, well... Often when we rely on others for help, we're sadly reminded that we're better off helping ourselves. But aren't those people who prove to be the exceptions great?

Chasing Tao said...

Lots of truth in here about the state our society is in these days...

"They pretend to care
reeling me in
hook, line, sinker
no better cliché
~describing the soulless I’ve been surrounded by"

"Offers of help
I turn down
and can see the relief in their eyes
but when I find the nerve to ask
~always other things to do."

"Yet, within me exists the illusion
I can do this."

...and one can of course, do what needs to be done, since the 'universe' or 'cosmic consciousness' is there
to assist us, even if we don't recognize it for what it is. Most of us, when we allow ourselves to flow with 'it' get those moments of, "now how did that happen?" when we least expect them...

Excelsior

Roger ☺

Buddah Moskowitz said...

I'm with you, lady. It ain't meglomania - it's the impulse to stay alive by staying busy.

Slow down a little. Don't burn out- we need your light.

Pop-o Moskowitz

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Good write btw. :)

Shelley Lundquist said...

So true... we think we can do it all and hear... "you should've asked for help"... but when we do, busy. No wonder we rarely bother to ask.

Don't ever forget, dear Natasha, that you have a whole army of poets here behind you... whenever you need us.

Uneven Stephen said...

Ouch. I love the title, and the vulnerability here. Lots of great lines. My fave: "the soulless I’ve been surrounded by." Great write.

Fred Rutherford said...

the illusion I can do this- one of those lines that stop you in your tracks and force you to reflect. Really nice job here Tash, really enjoyed Thanks

Anthony Desmond said...

"Offers of help
I turn down
and can see the relief in their eyes
but when I find the nerve to ask
~always other things to do." if that's not the truth, I dont know what is... at the end of the day, the only person you can depend on at all times is you...

signed...bkm said...

The belief that we can do something...what a power that holds us beyond all reason....bkm

mrs mediocrity said...

oh yes, i, too, have been there, felt that many times.

but the funny thing is that mostly, we CAN do this. and we do.

but every so often we must stop everything and care for ourselves. pull back, go quiet, recharge.

and sometimes, we simply accept that what does not get done, will not get done. and that's almost always okay, too.

as you can tell, i can relate :) great write!

poemblaze said...

The title alone drew me in. thanks for sharing on dVerse!

ayala said...

Been there...so hard sometimes....but at the end of the day we seem to find a way.

Kellie said...

*wipes your tear*

I have felt this before. victim of my own kindness so to speak.

can i just say... i love you.

xoxoxoxoxox

Claudia said...

hey tash...you're such a power woman...i'm always speechless of how many things you seem to be able to handle...but def. be careful not to do too much.. i tend to power as well and think i can do lots of things on my own...but we need others to help and support...

Bar None Publishing Group said...

You can do anything!

Cheers,

Mark Butkus

stu mcp (hate and hope) said...

NEVER GIVE UP.....EVER. (otherwise I'll kick your ass ha ha). Tash- your honest words just reel me in every time. Thank you for being human- and thank you for sharing

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Sometimes we just do what we have to--just to stay afloat. I am just hoping that it isn't always like that--great piece!

Anonymous said...

"Yet, within me exists the illusion
I can do this." ... Mmmm, it's that illusion that allows people to step into greatness. Sometimes imagination and impossible belief turns into reality.

~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com

phoenixofthelinnet said...

Such a moving write!

Army of one is going to be a hard one, always good to have a few good men (or woman) behind you.

Arron Shilling said...

what a title tash - thats a bomb;
and you drop the depth charge too:)

its war - nobody wins; but some fight... hard enough to count :)

Wolfsrosebud said...

took me 40 years and a chemical depression before I asked for help... and there were those with well intentions, which I never saw again... you've captured the heart of this emotion.

Timoteo said...

Just do it! (Sorry, I just saw this TV commercial for Nike!)

Anonymous said...

You my dear....can do anything. Know this!!

Lance said...

I love relating to something that is also so artistic. This spoke to me in so many differnet ways. I love the last stanza. It felt like someone took the words from my own heart.

Steve Piper said...

You got me on this one! I was hooked from the first line, an army of one--how often I've felt that way. If it's any consolation, the criticism put on me the most is "Steve, you just have to learn to multi-task." Yea-uh, right. Keep on keeping on, @Tashtoo, count the names in this comment thread--we all love you--we are the ones who will wait! »^.,.^«

Steve King said...

"Yet, within me exists the illusion
I can do this."

It's the best line, for me. Not so illusory, I'm sure, in your case. Very nice job on this, Natasha.

theborgpoet said...

Tash..such sadness. Any other comment from the Borg would be irrelevant. Suffice to say, we have fond affections for you.

1emeraldcity said...

Some things we can and must do alone; others, you need to lean a little. I certainly wouldn't call your plight meglomania...just a call to get things done without worrying about people saying no if you ask. You are only human. But you are also part willow...bend a little to the wind..you will not break. you need a rest. Been there, done that. Great write!

Henry Clemmons said...

Man, this smacked of true blue heart beatin' honesty. Struck me as sad to. A very touching piece, to me anyway; moving and real.

sirwilliamprice said...

I am new to this, but I would like to say how much I related to your words. They had a saddness, but somehow I feel your real worth is greater. You encouraged me anyway.

Semaphore said...

The illusion? The illusion that you can do this?

No megalomania, this... you CAN do it, and just proved it!

S.E.Ingraham said...

oh my - as so many before me have said, I too have been whereof you speak and you speak of it so eloquently ... a rich, wonderful poem, well-crafted and spot-on

http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.com/2012/03/fog-at-dusk-is-crowded.html

beckykilsby said...

No illusion Tash.. words imprinting behind my eyes.. I know this. You say it well.

Yousei Hime said...

I suspect many of us can relate to this. I especially feel a resonance with those first two lines. Thank you for sharing it.

Joe Hesch said...

I've read just about every piece you've posted since you helped open my eyes to poetry on the Web, my dear Tash. Each has been a selfless and courageous opening of your great heart to your readers.

But none has left me truly sad until today's.

Again, courageous and true. A lesson for me and all. xox

janaki nagaraj said...

Aren't we all our own army of one? Can really identify with this. Nice.

gardenlilie.com said...

Well you seem to write with many a painful word or a reaching out from pain or exile of some sorts. You know sometimes we can rely on others and then in a split second when you really need someone they are not there and the grief and helpless feeling overcomes. This can drive you to never rely on anyone but yourself. True. I hear this in your words.

Victoria said...

For me, this felt like a prelude to PTSD. I'm sure that this is the type of mindset that drives people to the brink, like the soldier who killed all those people in Afghanistan a week or so ago.

Cressida de Nova said...

Capable people who do not possess the often practiced artifice of attracting sympathy by appearing needy are not a magnet for support.

The situation you describe is not uncommon.It is amazing what an army of one can accomplish and sometimes God smiles and sends the kindness of a stranger. I'm glad you wrote this poem.

Aidz Giannini said...

Yes I think we all know this well, and fail to ask and receive help. Made me pause n think

Aidz Giannini said...

Yes I think we all know this well, and fail to ask and receive help. Made me pause n think