Today, Sam (aka @semaphore) treats us to a form referred to as the Square Poem. It's harder than it looks, and if it wasn't for those dVersePoets...I would have probably never attempted it. As it is, I'm a stubborn old fool who would rather put up something like what you'll find below, rather than admit defeat.
It's FormForAll...and I'd love to see what you bring to the pub!
On Through the Night
On through darkened night he rode
Through flooding rivers, over lonely hills
Darkened rivers carved paths in blackness
Night over paths, moonlit shadows danced
He, lonely in the shadows, love-light driven
Rode hills, blackness danced, driven mad
Upon the crest, there she waits
The bloom of love in breath
Crest of hill, stalls heart, beats
There love stalls, silhouetted in dark
She, in heart, in madness too
Waits, breath beats, dark, too lost.
~NH
23 comments:
Dramatic and a beautiful love story too - awesome. You're so good at this.
so lovely how they go together, how they contrast in style, how they mirror each other. there's a tenderness here. just wonderful!! wow. i'm so impressed.
zealous wives
nice you did really well tash...great story telling and holding true to form...this was beast....and you def nailed it...
and please, dont call yourself old again...smiles...
Sad stories, though reflecting my life perhaps a little too closely!? What is it about love that drives people mad?
Amazing and beautiful! You took on two?!? I am also super impressed.
Oh! sadness that he makes it to the ridge where she waits but they do not meet. How the repetition of darkness and shadows in the first justifies his madness; and in the second, a kind of breathlessness with rapid heart beat emerges as silhouettes confound her and she too is lost in the dark. That you managed to get this cumbersome form to bend around this tragedy amazes me! Bravo!
There's a lot of wonderfully bittersweet poetic stuff happenin' here, I love this one, Poet.
Wow, you really took up the challenge. Such a beautiful tale you weaved. It was also interesting to read the two stanzas straight down (though it was hard for me to read beyond the fourth word down)--intertwined--they fit quite well...
wonderful job!
Oh, this is fabulous! You did a 2x6x6 and made the two of the verses complement each other dramatically as well. Isn't it amazing how you can rise to a challenge!
Wow, just, Wow.
This was just terrific, Tash. ONe of my favorites; you used the repetition of the form to give us something really haunting. Just lovely. k.
oh wow..nice job tash..love-light driven...i like...
Tash, I have to say, I believe your poem(s) here are as perfect as a poet can get with this form. The form is a blast, and I love how we can tell how much fun you had putting these together, it really shows. In addition to the adhering to the form, the poetry itself is a great story/verse itself, with killer lines and impeccable pacing and flow. Loved it. Thanks
Driven mad, perhaps, by the 6x6 straitjacket? ;-) Really lovely work. The poem did not suffer from the form, works really well.
WOT! No rhyme?
Don't tell me that I struggled with rhyming mine for nothing?
Nice one, Natasha, and a real poem in spite of [a.k.a. despite] the strict form.
Just noticed you completed the up-and-down lines as well: all twelve of them. Masterful twisting with a solid dose of sense into the bargain.
Wow, you really stretched the limit with this prompt. This blend is beautiful and climatic. I love the "bloom of love in breath".
Wow, Super, Natasha. Brilliantly done.
Ooohhh....beautifully crafted! I could feel the restlessness felt by the characters in your poem...
A double square - a double hit to your credit!!! Brava!!!
Such a clever poet - I love them both :)
Wow, Natasha. This is fantastic! The final two lines are the hardest, and those are your best.
Love these:
"Rode hills, blackness danced, driven mad"
"She, in heart, in madness too
Waits, breath beats, dark, too lost"
This was superlative read either way and becomes a brilliant journey moving two ways at once in twelve! Wow I'm impressed and I might say, jealous! I stuck with single syllable words and tried the syllabic count thing. I think the multi-syllable allows for more poetry as here!
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