Ripped from the very skin that birthed me
ego fractured, tattered, not much matters
when this state of being becomes existence
Ribbons of flesh permeated
dyed, reviled, but never reconciled
as anything more than dead space
mutated, petri dish concoction
festering on window sill, complacency had had its fill
Here is where the sunshine goes to die
Black matter, mad hatter
Alice was never wanted here
wrapped in a bottle-blonde psychosis...You know this!
Anti-poster child
getting me all riled
up...
Dare I give a fuck?
When it's all I've left to give?
Loose change slipped from my pocket long ago
A feast for those who've not known bread
better off fed?
I see the army that marches has grown in number
while I've been content to slumber
Who knew white rabbit...could be so cruel.
Wicked fast write in an effort not to be late to dVerse for OpenLinkNight...got me thinking about white rabbits...see you at the pub where Joe has got bar duties...let's do this!
39 comments:
good poem
Wander
this:
"I see the army that marches has grown in number
while I've been content to slumber
Who knew white rabbit...could be so cruel."
speaks to me.
Hi Tash, I admire you for this poem!
Hi Tash, I admire you for this poem!
Rabbits are often cruel; just ask my husband. ;)
This is strong stuff!
now what would alice say...? i guess she would agree...smiles...and the army grown in number while slumbering spoke to me as well
Another very powerful write, Poet. You are fearless in tacking the hard things, the important things. And sometimes, Honey Badger's advice has to be taken--especially on Taco Tuesday!
A punch at the end of the rabbit hole journey, love how you played the metaphors!
This is verily an Allen Ginsberg 'Howl' of a poem, punctuated by transubstantial and hallucinatory imagery, and the powerful Whitmanesque technique of rhyming rhymes of widely varying length. Again, when you plunge into raw emotion, there is where yhou find yourself at your most potent.
Love the pace of this one :) and I will be back to read again, it is lingering with me like an unfinished jigsaw puzzle.
Whoa! A right tempest, this is. Reads so fast, leaving lots to untangle. Great write!
Going back for seconds, now...
dang wicked good too...rapid fire and targetted....ha....love the alice touches as well...great internal rhyme and carries a fist punch to the air to go with the one to the chest
The rhymes rattle off at a rare old pace, and it's fun to see how the crossReferences may have suggested them to you as you wrote
"I see the army that marches has grown in number
while I've been content to slumber
Who knew white rabbit...could be so cruel."...A good one! Strong write!
Nice spin and throw back to Alice N Wonderland. Oh, and those darn rabbits.
Dare I give a fuck?
When it's all I've left to give?
Strong, strong write!
Hi Natasha.... As usual you are right on the mark... And I didn't have to go far for my moment of Zen!!! "...not much matters when this state of being becomes existence..." This is so true!!! Very thoughtful poem....
The first line was a great hook and drew me right into the poem.
Down the rabbit hole
For a stroll
Pfft let a duck
Go give a fuck
For they just suck
Let em go play in the muck
Bottle blond psychosis! Fast you say-very good. I'd say it's above my head, my simple mind. This is whenI would like a discussion, just to be enlightened. Someday, there's hope for me yet. Masterful. Gardenlile.com
"Anti-poster child
getting me all riled
up...
Dare I give a fuck?"
nice! sharp and good!
Wonderful intro with having to swallow the formation of existence. Such visceral and fantastical images(" where the sunshine goes to die") giving this piece a cosmic feel. Really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for visiting. :)
i think we should take it as a given that the rabbit will always be cruel...then any softness will feel like a bonus....smiles..
Tash, what a rapid-fire twisting tale!
Loved the bottle-blonde psychosis and
Where the sunshine goes to die
Wonderful! (no pun intended, but now that it's out there, why not?) :-)
Woah there Mama! - is that a fire in your belly or are you just pissed to see me! :D
Fearless and packing a power punch . . . kinda how i like my PO
for real Tash! :D
It is that bad? Yes. I see your words: the dish and what holds the solution together and the cloning and fertilizing and not being wanted and not being? I hear the high-pitched scream and the mad scramble to care since it is, indeed, all that is left.
Dont think my comment took...so here it is again. So you fell down the rabbit hole...again. Nevva mind...I'll meet u there anytime..w. the mad hatter et al. Whatever you write you manage power and punch...even with a bunny rabbit. Who woulda thunk....and on the fly! Good stuff here!
Fabulous - the words run quickly - love the internal rhymess
This flows so beautiful when reading it aloud! An awesome job for a quick write.
Wow that just trips off the tongue Natasha ~ and a very powerful message
Tashtoo, the internal rhyme here carries this piece perfectly from beginning to end. You wrote this quickly? I am in awe. Thanks for visiting me and it is a pleasure to meet you.
Pamela
Great sense of urgency here - I can't help thinking of Grace Slick. (Jefferson Airplane for younger generation) k.
Oh, this was fun... and deep. Swinging ever higher, Tasha!
Strong emotive stuff.
Anna :o]
Strong fun stuff
I love you in a poetic sense, you delve and turn words so visually and viscerally that at the end you are totally wowed
very strong write ....thanks for sharing x
Powerful!
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