Quiet...so quiet
Every sticky, shaky, trembling footstep
ricochets off the walls that have confined me
somewhere inside me
for so long.
I did as I was told
Wore the mask you made for me
the outfits, the heels and hose
lord knows
I tried
Knowing I was long gone
forever broken
you taped my wing
gave me songs to sing
but always in a voice not my own
How long did you think this would last? Could last?
A paper doll, in a paper castle
always within arms reach of a matchbook solution
and a dream to see the world burn?
You never listened to my dreams
So now here we stand...
well...I stand
Doubtful you'll be rising.
This lie has held me too confined
proper english, spoken with a proper tongue
a fabricated past
forgotten only when you needed the me
you could never show the world...
An underestimation of my strength
a disregard for my will
Always taking...
Blood and bruises
in exchange for existence within your web
Regular unleaded, blue bic
knife slips
echoing off the marble floor
I never wanted but paid for
through every costume
I close the door behind me
Custom made for your paper life
this paper wife knows to run
this paper life...done
though not for lack of trying....
My pen has been all but sputtering lately, meaning I've turned to my paint and crayons...but still, there was no way I was missing OpenLinkNight at dVersePoets...just another example of how the pub keeps me going!
For those of you who are interested, I've been nominated for author of the year over at Muse in the Valley...only takes a few seconds to cast your vote...for me or any one of the fantastic authors who are featured.
And yes...the shorty awards are still rolling along. Would be awesome to see Poet recognized as an official category...and like every thing else in this world...it seems numbers are the only way that would happen...so, if you're active in the twitterverse, you can toss me a vote here.
AND...as we head into final edits on my upcoming release, just wanted make mention "Pulse" will go on presale February 15th...because, you know, we are going to be just swamped with orders (sarcasm? Me?) If you did want to reserve a copy...you know when you can. :)
I think that covers the blatant self-promo for this week ;)
Happy OpenLinkNight all! We'll see you at the pub!
36 comments:
A paper doll, in a paper castle
always within arms reach of a matchbook solution
and a dream to see the world burn?
dang tash....those lines carry the weight of this for me....ugh...you capture the feel well....kind of a Misery feel....how she 'cared' for him, but really...
congrats on the author of the year...woot! and horray on pulse too!
I'm rooting for her awareness that exchanging existence in his web for blood and bruises and hiding her real self is NOT worth it. Great portrait of this dynamic.
haha..nothing to say against self-promo..smiles... very cool news... the poem carries heavy emotions..paper doll in a paper castle..the matchbox solution within arms reach...ouch...tight images...felt pain..
I close the door behind me
Custom made for your paper life
this paper wife knows to run
this paper life...done
I would have to say this is one of the better closing stanzas I have read...very good poem.
i liked how you related to common paper... only a writer would think of
love the imagery - you weave it well
my mind sprung to bureaucracy - that'd make a bad house...of paper...and ink
Per some previous conversation, Tash, you seem to be going through some remarkable changes, inside and out. Brava! It takes courage to 'go against the tide'...in EVERYTHING...especially what we are expected to do, model, yodel and fit into the little boxes we have already grown out of.
A very deep and broad poem to me. Excellent. And Progressive in so many ways.
Lady Nyo
Paper, knives, and matches! There is so much resolve and danger in this one - sounds like a very courageous woman taking her life back.
I love the impermanence. Congrats on the honor.
This is a brilliant. There is a vulnerability in the subject, yet an amazing strength. Love it!
This is a brilliant. There is a vulnerability in the subject, yet an amazing strength. Love it!
Great work, as always. A very intimate look at a difficult life. Living life "paper thin" can be difficult to do. Peace, Linda
Really excellent poem... if this is what you create when your pen is sputtering...
"I close the door behind me
Custom made for your paper life
this paper wife knows to run
this paper life...done
though not for lack of trying...."
Unbelievable ending, Tash! Heavy piece. Congrats on all the accolades, much deserved!
so many fabulous heartfelt lines in this, many i could relate to... "you taped my wing, gave me songs to sing" really grapped me. great write.
p.s. voted for you over at Valley....
so glad that you put that down on paper :)
My, my, Tash! Certainly a sense of desperation here, of a yearning for transformation, or maybe full-blown self-destruction, followed by a rebirth perhaps? Still, I would gladly grab that knife and draw more blood and bruises than succumb to such a prison. Gladly.
Gene
Amazing, Amazing, and did I say AMAZING? :)
Your words spoke so much to me here. Abuse is one of the hardest challenges whether its physical, mentally or... Well lets just say every kind.
But sometimes, from those matchstick box dreams, we building mountains to climb to victory.
Know those paper doll days - paper cuts!
Good luck with all the goings on--Congrats on Pulse.
k.
As I read I felt within the sadness is the beginning of independence in this piece
"Knowing I was long gone
forever broken
you taped my wing
gave me songs to sing
but always in a voice not my own"
lovely string, ~ Rose
Fantastic writing here, Tash!
I'll be checking into the new release too. Hoping it's a bestseller!
A very encouraging write. I feel like buying a new house and investing in US banks. For reals though, a very touching poem that rends my heart that you should know such sadness. I hope your book sales soar beyond expectations and win every award. I would give you your own sun if i could. I enjoy your art in all forms.
I could feel the suffocation of being trapped as I read. There's nothing worse than feeling caged in, whether it's explicit or implicit. Not being loved for the real you will make your insides ache in a way nothing else can. Excellent write, and it looks like you've been a busy girl! Congrats on it all :)
Emotional & physical abuse, both terrible. Throw it in a pressure cooker, mix it up and something is bound to explode. Nice capture Natasha, and congrats on your nomination for Muse of the Year!
Paper moons, cardboard lovers and a possible matchbook solution. Thank the gods for closing the door on all this. A catharsis well done. Congrads on nominations, well deserved!
....and a dream to see the world burn...
Fn perfect
a paper doll in a paper castle with matches within reach...this is powerful. It expresses a spirit no matter how constrained will find its wings. Love it!
strong poem Tash. Great lines in here. i know so well about mind being scattered and turning to art, I do it all the time and love what you've put down here. Perhaps a minor piece of the poem, but something that stands out incredibly to me is the brilliant contrast you chose and worked in here of proper english and proper tongue with fabricated past. Those two lines stand out immensely to how my mind has been working lately. Excellent piece thanks. And yeah I like that recommendation you made the other day, definitely a change of pace for me but excellent recommendation. Thanks.
O Natasha, you never fail to disappoint and beguile with your poetry. There are some powerful messages in this heavy poem and this:
"Always taking...
Blood and bruises
in exchange for existence within your web.."
..is a highlight, but not for joy, rather celebration of a poet's deepest soulful thoughts, yours, Natasha Head, yours.
Beautiful Natasha - heart rending poetry - the closing stanza opens so many new possibilities away from the paper trap
An anguished cry indeed Natasha. As usual, original and authentic. Brilliant job. Good luck too. Hugs, James.
That paper doll stanza is freaking brilliant!
Congratulations on author of the year!
I was going to highlight my favorite part of this, but then I realized that in doing so, I would need to copy/paste it in it's entirety.
Perfectly done, and congratulations on the nom to boot!
voted! ;-)
esp liked, as imagery used,
"Wore the mask you made for me
the outfits, the heels and hose"
and the taped wing image
best wishes young lady ;-)
Wow~the pain and oppression is palpable in your powerful words. Great imagery that brings you reader in her world.
Damn this is so tight and raw i love it
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