Thursday, February 21, 2013
First Names ~ #Poetry by @Tashtoo
You would have caught her
top of the tracks
train rolling by
wind in her hair
fumes on her mind
You would have caught him
dangling
hanging
laughing louder
than the train that rattled their teeth
Drunk on life
stoned on gas
pay no mind
as the numbness
takes over
Spray paint disaster
no one had dared
citizens on patrol
roll
with their flashlights
We run through the night
dodging headlights
snapping the necks of the woodland creatures
collateral damage
back of cruiser
tripped over own feet
though they looked much bigger
it was all worth it
now
years later
a testament to the first can
the first names
still stand
You don't get much call for graffiti in little towns like mine...unless your willing to make it yourself. Throwing this up for Meeting the Bar over at dVersePoets where Anna (aka @Chromatopia_LLC) has taken the stage.
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24 comments:
is your name on there? i embiggened it to find you but couldnt...smiles...so you dropped a tag in your day tash? its def a rush of adrenaline, especially when you almost get caught...ha...
The excitement of the chase after leaving your tag - the adrenaline rush to beat all adrenaline rushes.
Well portrayed in words - did you then, did you?
Anna :o]
makes me wonder if those initials on that trestle can still be seen in my old hometown. Really liked this! K
the ambiguity of "first names" stuck with me, i.e., at 1st I didn't read it as their being the 1st names on the wall but as a pair of people whose surnames may have changed, which set me wondering how much of a couple they were.
never had the heart to leave my mark anywhere... 'cept maybe a smile... thanks for the ride
this was a great poem...my friend and i tagged...kissing bandit
thanks
So many names on railway bridges that go over highways and never a face to go with them. Well written.
I always enjoy how you paint a scene vividly, putting me inside the experience. Great to see you at the prompt!
I could feel the danger in this...cool poem!
nice poem, there's not a great deal of graffiti where I live either, I had to think of the train rides into the city. When I lived in the bush, there was a small hill, with large rocks on the side of the road, with graffiti much like you're bridge. This poem reminded me of it. I often wondered why they would drive so far out of town to graffiti.
You always have such a way of engaging the reader with the very first few words... this is great, Tash.
Always a strong ending (what I always look for) a punch heh. I can hear the adrenaline in your words
adrenalin and adventure
sharing daring
great poem
Yes, Tash--you were there and proved it ;)
Graffiti memories...I didn't do any graffiti, but I filled a fountain or two full of soap...lol
Excellent story you weaved around that image.
I was totally sucked into the story the images everything. Love it!
This is a story well told. With just enough word, almost fiction to some extent
You make it all very exciting.
Nice imagery!
Whether fiction or autobiography - and to me it seems deliberately ambiguous - you caught me up in the experience. :)
From the rush of an idea to the rush of paint, the rush of adrenaline to the rush of escape - what a wonderful series of images you have created, whether literally or not :-)
The shift in person/perspective works to lead the reader to look at her more deeply, understand her motives, life, past present. Nicely.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/02/22/it-is-written-vehicles-of-the-word/
BAM!!! Always left with an after taste of wanting more when I read you ♥
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