For me to please everybody.
If I could double them
It would not change the exhaustion that comes
With pleasing yourself last.
The silent treatments
The inconsiderate actions
Being forgotten...so very easily.
How do you treat another in such a fashion?
How do you have seemingly endless conversation
All laid to waste when you realize
They were only pretending to be listening,
Waiting for the next best thing?
I have hopes & ambitions
Dreams I hope to realize
In helping others
I thought there would be help for me.
I mistook loneliness for friendship
Selfishness for caring.
I am running out the clock
On this once in a lifetime chance at freedom.
My dreams can not be scheduled
Nor can I be held responsible
For carrying on the dreams of another.
It is not defeat I am admitting
Simply the realization
The only one I have to please is myself.
It is only me who keeps me awake into the wee hours of the morning.
It is my own heart that feels the weight I choose to burden myself with.
It is only my dreams I can nurture.
Only myself, I can fix.